In sickness and health.

Our marriage has been put to the test this past week...and the wedding vow In Sickness and In Health came to mind.

You see I'm your typical Mom...who doesn't have time to get sick and when I do, I try to be considerate of everyone else planning my doctors’ visits around the time when I have the least amount of kids, and certainly trying to never impose my illness on anyone else's schedule.

So when I had severe pain in my neck radiating doing into my sternum accompanied by a shortness of breath that started last Wednesday I was worried. Trying to think of everyone else I called for an appointment on Thursday so I could go with the least number of kids and not disturb my husband’s work schedule. My MD visit resulted in an antibiotic to try to combat my lymph nodes that were suspected of being the culprit to my pain and a let's watch and see. I took my medication as directed went to bed early. My husband declared that I would be "Fine" and even though my MD went through a laundry list of "It could be this...or it could be nothing" with me.

After sleeping for 14 hours on Friday night I woke up Saturday morning still feeling awful. My husband took our two older boys ice fishing and I took our youngest son to Green Bay to do some shopping. During my time at Sam’s Club, I attempted to pick up a box of powdered sugar...something I regularly can lug around and I could not lift it. I dropped it on the ground and then struggled to get it into my cart. I finished shopping and had the same struggles with loading the van. Next was the grocery store...I shopped for our "normal" items and a few "extra" things and then loaded them into the van.

During my 60 minute van ride home my left arm went numb, thinking it was a result of my posture I didn't do much about it, but when it took me 35 minutes to unload the van and another 30 minutes putting the items away. My arm was still numb and my husband was almost home. I put the TV on for my 2 ½ year old and I laid down. My husband came back to our room, asked how I was doing and urged me to go to Urgent Care.

I took him up on that offer, not wanting to "bother" him I drove myself in. I came home about 1 ½ hours later with 3 prescriptions, after having a shot in my hinder and an EKG, and I was scheduled to have a CT scan on Monday.

I continued on my medication regiment and had my CT scan...I felt alone. I felt like the message my husband was sending me was "You are fine...suck it up". I didn't feel like this was the "In Sickness and In Health" that we exchanged almost 10 years ago. I expressed through tears this feeling of abandonment to my husband, and he explained that he had a peace with the entire situation which made me understand. He wasn't ditching me or ignoring me, he was trusting God to take care of me.

So you see...my marriage isn't perfect...and I'm not perfect either. I still don't know what my left arm is numb; I am a 34 year old mom, who is active. I completed 2 Half Marathons and 1 Half Ironman's last year alone. We'll take it a day at a time and see where we end up.